laaneobartlett51

I lived my Southern California childhood in a middle-class neighborhood of boxy pastel stuccoed tract houses. My world consisted of summers in Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks, Easter outfits complete with straw bonnet and white gloves, Sunday school with still-loved hymns, the sharp, eye-watering smell of Toni home permanents, the giddy joy of a new workbook in school, dusting and ironing lessons, but also ballet lessons, progressing to en pointe in pink satin shoes, the toes stuffed with lamb's wool, the elegant French names for the exercises at the barre, and underlying it all, a deep familial love. I felt the pure, childhood happiness of Robert Louis Stevenson's line, "The world is so full of a number of things/I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings." The sentiment seems naïve now, yet at one time, it did characterize my life.

This was the fifties, and the most challenging thing for me was to try to guess the occupations of the guests on "What's My Line?" Since I didn't know what I wanted to be, not even whether I wanted to produce a product or provide a service, that show was my opening to life's possibilities. When pressed once for an answer from a grown-up, I announced, "I want to be Dorothy Killgallen."

My father, a tall, mild-mannered man who chuckled well and worked as a production manager in the aircraft industry, had a crippled arm, which we never spoke about. He always put it behind him when he ushered in church. He stood with dignity, and I admired him. I regret that I never asked whether it hurt much. Unable to engage in sports with my sister and me, twice a month he took us to the North Hollywood Public Library, a venerable building with creaking hardwood floor, the air scented with floor wax, old books, and the nearby eucalyptus trees.
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